Innocent Curiosity
by SchizoInsanity
Summary: We all have those innocent questions that don't mean to cause harm. But thanks to Photoshop, Pilot MIGHT just get the answers he desires. The keyword: might.


**Note from Zee Techie:** So, my lovely cancer scarf (aka my muse) has planted this little idea in my head. She decided that a certain radiated worm needed some love and I can't help but agree! There are no pairings (le gasp).

This is Photoshop's story.

…

The Captain was wide awake when the sun rose.

The German strutted around his base, looking at each of his sleeping minions. They looked so peaceful and content in their slumber. Save for one, Mr. Snippy. The man had a hard time sleeping and got a maximum of four hours.

_'And zat is why he is zee perfect candidate for all my assignments!'_ The Captain thought cheerfully. He leaned down and poked the marksman's nose. But there was no response, "Come on, Mr. Snippy there is work to be done!"

"Not now…" The marksman muttered as he turned away, "Five more minutes."

The Captain wasn't pleased with this response, "Photoshop isn't going to walk herself! If she doesn't get her morning walk she gets irritable."

Tired blue eyes opened and stared up into purple lenses, they practically begged for more sleep, "I promise you can sleep after her walk, Mr. Snippy."

…

Charles Snippy was wandering around the open wastes as ordered by his Captain. Shouldered on his back was his favorite sniper rifle and grasped tightly in both hands was a long, thick chain. Attached to the long chain was a giant, mutated worm. It was a pet that was shared between his Commanding Officer and another minion named Pilot.

He tugged on the chain as the worm started chewing away at a pile of trash, "Come on, Photoshop! We have food for you back home! The last thing I need is for the Captain and Pilot to yell at me because you died from eating radiated garbage!"

The worm ignored him and continued to eat her fill of the radiated pile of junk. Snippy could only watch with disgust. Whenever he tried to yank on the chain the worm would just pull three times as hard. The marksman was starting to fear for his arms. So with a sigh of defeat he allowed the worm to consume the garbage.

It was going to be a long night.

…

When they returned to the base Pilot was there to greet them. The flyer zipped forward and launched himself at the giant worm, wrapped his arms around it as best as he could. The worm let out a growl of frustration but did nothing to shrug the Pilot off her body.

"It's okay now, Photoshop." He said, "You don't have to deal with that stupid shoe until your afternoon and evening walks! It's time for lunch though! We got your favorite!"

The marksman drowned out the rest of the conversation and walked inside the building they called their base. The Captain was sitting on the ground, writing on paper, _'Probably a list of supplies I'll have to venture out for soon.'_

He spotted Gromov sitting near a fire most likely cooking up food. He was the only one they could truly trust with a fire. At least the only one that Snippy could trust. The marksman dropped onto the ground and dozed off. The Captain never said anything, so he assumed the man recalled his promise.

…

Outside the base Pilot was having a hard time feeding his pet. He was growing more and more frustrated every time she tossed her bowl aside. Finally he grasped it tightly in his hands and held it out to her, "Come on, Photoshop! Time to eat lunch! I spent a long time trying to find your favorites!"

The worm still refused and turned away, crawling into her makeshift home. The Pilot pouted behind his gas mask, "Did that stupid shoe do something to you? He probably did it because he's jealous! I'll take care of this girl, don't worry!"

The flyer stormed into the base and looked around, finding the sniper on the ground. He immediately turned to his Commanding Officer, "Captain, I demand Snippy wake up! He hurt Photoshop!"

The Captain's head cocked to the side, "What do you mean by zat? Mr. Snippy would never hurt our pet!"

"Then why won't she eat?" The flyer shouted, "Not to mention she's been napping a lot lately! I BLAME THAT JIGGLY SLUG!"

The Engineer shook his head, choosing not to be part of that conversation. The Captain let out a sigh, "We will wait and see until after her walks, alright? Now relax."

The flyer still wasn't pleased.

…

When Sniper awoke he had to guess it was in the middle of the afternoon. He glanced around the room and saw that everyone was where they were when he fell asleep. The only one who had moved, even a bit was Gromov. He went from sitting by a fire to sitting in a corner, working on broken technology.

"Mr. Snippy, you are finally awake!" The Captain shouted. The marksman looked up, "It is time for Photoshop's afternoon walk!"

Snippy rose to his feet and nodded, not complaining. He felt there was no need since his Captain let him have an undisturbed nap, "Alright, I'm on it."

"Don't you dare hurt her, you jiggly slug! I'm watching you!" Pilot cried from his own little corner of the building. He was sitting on the ground with burnt paper and radiated crayons. No doubt drawing the marksman's demise for harming his precious slug or his amazing Captain doing something "fabulous". Snippy ignored his threats and walked out.

Photoshop looked a bit bigger than usual.

"You feeling alright, girl?" The marksman whispered. When he tried to touch her she reeled back and growled, bearing her teeth. Snippy backed away and unlatched her leash from the metal pole, "Well, come on. It's time for your afternoon walk."

The worm growled and tore off, dragging poor Snippy behind her.

…

They had come to a radiated lake where the worm actually started drinking. He wondered if it was okay for her to being it, _'Well, she's radiated so…it can't be a bad thing, right? What's the worst that'll happen? But damn she's getting a lot bigger…what the hell happened? Bet Pilot's been feeding her too much again…'_

He patted the worm's tail gently and it let out a contented growl-like purr. The marksman couldn't stop the smile from appearing on his face, "You're not a bad mutated worm, Photoshop. I just don't like when you tear my arms out of my sockets…or try to eat me when Pilot commands you to."

The stroll continued and when they were halfway to the base it came to an immediate halt. The marksman was a bit confused and walked forward, "What's wrong, Photoshop?"

The giant worm lurched a bit and finally it heaved out a thick, green substance that glowed. Some of it splattered onto the marksman. He didn't look to pleased about being vomited on but didn't scold the worm, just continued walking along.

When they made it to the base he brought her a giant bowl of water that was radiation free, "I hope this helps, girl. I don't know what junk Pilot's feeding you…"

The marksman walked inside and shrugged off his jacket. The Engineer looked up and his nose scrunched, "Is that…Photoshop's vomit?"

"Yeah, I think she's getting sick or something. I don't think all that radiated junk is good for her." The marksman said.

"You actually sound worried." The Engineer said as he pushed his goggles up. Amber eyes were filled with amusement, a smug smirk on his face.

"Hey, she's not that bad when she's not trying to kill me." Snippy bit back, "I think Pilot makes her hate me."

"That's a good possibility." The Engineer commented as he rose to his feet, "Let me have a look at her before the others get back."

He prayed Gromov could help.

…

The base was really quiet when they returned.

The Captain thought it was kind of awkward when he found Snippy and Engie huddled together near the fire, talking quietly to each other. He cleared his throat and chuckled when they nearly jumped out of their skins. They turned around, facing Captain and Pilot.

The flyer didn't look all too pleased, "Hey, what's wrong with Photoshop? She wouldn't eat the dinner I brought her!"

"Because we already fed some food, Chris." The Engineer stated bluntly. He rose to his feet, patting the marksman shoulder, "I'll handle this one. I have something to tell the two of you."

"Is Photoshop dying! YOU JIGGLY SLUG! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER?" The Pilot screamed as he tried to lunge at the sniper. But the Engineer held him off, "LET ME GO, YOU SHOE! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS BECAUSE I HAVE A PET WITH CAPTAIN!"

"PILOT!" The Engineer shouted before lowering his voice, "Enough. I have a perfect explanation as to why Photoshop's been acting weird lately."

"And why is zat? Is mein Photoshop going to be alright?" The Captain finally asked.

"Well…she'll be okay in a couple of days." The Engineer started, "It seems that during our travels and her getting loose…she managed to…somehow…get pregnant."

"Pregnant? Is that a special sickness?" Pilot asked.

"It means she's going to have babies." Snippy stated. The Captain and Pilot went dead silent, neither knowing what to say. But finally a cheerful yell tore from both of their throats. The Captain started going on about how he would have baby minions. But Pilot ceased his cheering.

"Where do babies come from?" He asked.

The cheering stopped.

…

The three were scared to move.

The Captain had ordered them to take care of Photoshop during her final stages of pregnancy. He said he was going to prepare for the little ones arrival.

"I hope you know he meant that he wanted nothing to do with this messy task…" Snippy commented.

"Yeah, I know." The Engineer replied. Pilot seemed to be the only one unaffected by the request. He tried to move closer to the worm but she growled at him. When he took another step she snapped her massive teeth at him.

"AH!" The flyer jumped behind the Engineer. The marksman shook his head and stepped forward slowly, holding his hands out. At first the worm growled at him so he stopped and stretched his arms out as far as possible. Photoshop ceased her growling and sniffed the outstretched hands. The marksman smiled when let out a gurgled purr, nuzzling into his palms.

"That's a good girl." He whispered as he walked closer, "Engie's gonna take a look at you, alright? Then we'll be out of your way.

The worm seemed to relax and the Engineer walked over. Removing his gloves he ran his bare hands against her underbelly. His eyes narrowed curiously as he moved lowered and a look of surprise appeared on his face, "Well, they're certainly active little ones. I can feel them moving around in there."

"I wanna feel!" Pilot shouted happily.

"Fine, but approach slowly." The Engineer hissed out as he continued feeling along her belly, "Definitely a big litter in there, Photoshop."

The mutated worm let out a content growl. The flyer moved closer, slowly and removed his gloves. He gently squished his hands against her side and giggled when he felt movement, "How many do you think there are?"

"Oh, I don't know. Give or take about ten." The Engineer responded innocently.

"T-TEN?" The marksman shouted.

…

They had been off with the timing.

Engie was outside the base with a roaring Photoshop that very night. The other three were inside the base waiting. Pilot was pacing back and forth, stealing a glance towards the exit every so often. Snippy was sitting on the floor, hands twitching nervously. He would never admit it out loud but he was a bit concerned for the giant worm. Their Commanding Officer was another story.

The man had started off pacing before he opted for standing in place, bouncing on the balls of his feet. After that had grown irritating he chose to sit down and pulled out a box from within his pocket. The other two minions glanced at him, "What? A man can't smoke?"

"Where the hell did you get smokes?" Sniper yelled, "You better be sharing those!"

The Captain handed them each a cancerous stick and lit them up. They had a green glow from the radiation but no one seemed to care. The flyer had to laugh though when the smoke come out blue.

Minutes passed like hours.

Pilot finally got the courage to speak, "Hey Captain, where do babies come from?"

The Commanding Officer and marksman exchanged scared looks. Neither of them wanted to explain the nature of children to the simple minded minion. So they both turned away, ignoring the question completely. An irritated huff escaped Pilot's throat.

"One of you has to know!" He proclaimed, "Maybe Mr. Engie can tell me!"

They both shouted 'no'.

…

The Engineer wiped his forehead with the forearm of his shirt sleeve. His jacket had been long abandoned. He smiled down at his work. Laid out on a tattered sheet were ten little, mutated worms. They squirmed and wiggled about, making odd little squeaking noises. He turned his gaze to the proud mother.

"Good job, Photoshop." He said with a smile, patting her side, "But I guess I do need to those boobs."

He rose to his feet and walked towards the inside of the base. He wanted to walk away when he saw the three arguing, cigarettes abandoned on the ground. Engie shook his head and whistled, getting their attention. Three pairs of eyes looked upon him, "Babies are born if you guys wanna see them."

Pilot and Snippy pushed at each other to get out the door. The Captain chose to walk at a more leisured pace. Handing a cigarette and lighter to Engie he joined his minions outside. Gromov smirked as he lit the stick up and inhaled the smoke, _'Feels good to do something nice for once…'_

He exhaled blue smoke.

…

The little ones were welcomed warmly.

Pilot was kneeling on the ground and poking their squishy bellies. He giggled whenever they squeaked. The Captain was already instructing them that he was 'Zee Captain' and that his word was law. But they could all hear the hint of happiness in his tone. Mr. Snippy was cradling one of the little worms in his arms, a big grin on his face.

Engie walked out and joined them, "So, what are we going to do with them?"

"We will keep zem! Zey are all mein minions now!" The Captain shouted, "But there is one problem?"

"What's that, sir?" Pilot asked.

"Zey need names."

…

**End Note from Zee Techie:** This could have gone a whole lot better but I'm posting this at 2:30 am…give me a bit of a break. ;A;

Leave me a review and tell me what you think.


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